Onion headlines:

Glee Club Depressed, Angry

Pringles level at six inches and falling x

And the O's person-on-the-street poll: Last week, U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan set up a commission to determine whether genocide has taken place in the Darfur region of Sudan. What do you think?

"So this might have been a genocide after all, and not a civil war in which only one side was fighting."

"I think the U.N. is going to find that the blame lies with all the Sudanese rap music that glamorizes genocide."

"I think the entire world will breathe a sigh of relief if the U.N. finds that it is not genocide. Well, everyone except for the half-million people who were murdered there."