More from the Sun-Times' QT column:

News Headline: "13-year-old boy charged with abducting exotic dancer."
They grow up so fast, don't they?

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
*Thirty-two percent of the voters who supported John Kerry have visited Belgium at least once.
*Twenty-six women are older than the world's oldest man.

Supermarket Headline of the Month: "SUPERMARKET LOBSTERS ESCAPE TANK."

earlier:

S.S., a Chicago reader, writes:
"Because the past four years and the election have shown beyond any doubt that President Bush's supporters don't care what he does, but only what he is and says, he now has a rare opportunity to please all the people, if he does what his opponents want."
You know, it just might work.