Recent New Yorker cartoons:

Pilot to exiting passenger:
"Hey buddy, how bout a little something extra for the landing?"

Framed sign behind a boss in his office:
"Surprises" (circle with line through it)

Marriage counselor, holding phone receiver, to couple:
"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

Woman to man at bar:
"No, really, I love it when you talk in sentences."

Woman to man on couch watching TV:
"You don't really know someone until you give him the remote."

Man to wife on couch at home:
"Let's just stay in and contribute to the disappointing weekend box-office."